Cancer confirmed

Still working on the logistics. Obviously Dad can't handle her at 95 any more. Seems like Medicare pulls back on hospice care quite a bit. They will spend a lot on in home healthcare if there is a plan for the patient's improvement and therefore keeping them out of a facility. Not nearly as much for hospice.

I'm going thru simular stuff with my mom. She's 84 but has dementia and Altimers. Its the sadest thing I've ever seen. My older sister refuse to accept that MOM is losing her mind. Its so sad.

That's pretty rough buddy.  We have some of that in our family.  Hope she has some lucid moments you can share with her.  Sometimes they do. 

Guess we are going to take Mom home for a while at least.  Pretty rough on Dad, but we will all pitch in.  He can cook and clean, but has never done laundry.  One of the things I can help with as I have been doing it since I was a kid.  The others will have to help with the harder stuff. 

Mom is having a lot of breaks with reality now.  Never happened before until she went to the hospital this time.  Will inquire if they have changed any of her medications today.  

Palliative Team.  New way of saying Hospice.  Interesting eh?  The doctors do not want to tell us how long they think she has, but I am going to put the question to them in our meeting this afternoon.  Somehow I got the impression it will be 1-2 months.  Not that I would tell Dad, but we need to plan accordingly.  Frankly, it would be good if she goes fairly soon.  Seems like an awful thing to say, but when the quality of life gets to a certain point, it might be better to go on to the inevitable and end the misery.  When you are struggling for each breath, well...

Thank you to those who have kindly expressed their thoughts and support.  Part of life most of us have to deal with sooner or later.  

On a positive note, my older boy will be here tonight.  Mom took care of the boys a lot during preschool and early years and the bond is still very strong. Don't think she will make it to Christmas, so now is a great time for him to see her.  

The family is rallying around. My cousin's daughter went to the hospital and sat with Mom last night. Another cousin's wife called and said they were visiting today with their sons and they were going to get involved with her care whether I like it or not! She said my parents are deeply loved and respected by the entire family (my Dad is the last living male from that generation) and that they are coming from all over to see them.

So, just have to work out the details. Hospital bed. Hoist to help out Dad. Few other details.

Very sorry about your mom. It's never easy no matter how happy and long a life they may have led. My Danny's mom is in ICU. Massive heart attack 4 days ago at 93. She already had in-home 24-7 nurse's aide. IDK how, she's got no money, an lives in section 8 housing. She was offered (we think) the option of in home hospice care, naturally cheaper than going to a real hospice. This option may only work since she's already got the 24/7, but it may be worth looking into for your mom. She had no other health issues but previous milder heart attacks. Docs say she is still too old and fragile for any kinda heart surgery, and her vitals are breaking down. He's got a flight to Philly tomorrow.  

Hospice people have the bed, oxygen and so forth set up. Waiting for the ambulance that is bringing her home.

Doesn't look like she will be going home again. Dad has limited resources (as do I) so we are going to have to go through a lot of effort and paperwork to apply for financial assistance. Just what I needed.

She is not lucid and has thresh, so has not been able to eat, drink or take medications for over 24 hours. They are working on relieving this so that she can swallow again now.

No matter how hard we try to prepare ourselves losing a loved one is never easy even when they have been sick for some time. I am so sorry to hear about your mom.

Sorry to read this Blue but like you said she's at peace now.

I don't think anyone wants you gone either.