So, as some of you know, I struggle with anxiety and depression, both get pretty bad at times. Generally my anxiety is the bigger issue of the two. Lately its gotten bad, I've been struggling just to leave the house the last month. For all the years of therapy and everything I've done and worked at to try to learn to deal with this shit, its so frustrating how easy it is to slip right back to this place.
Anyway, that's just preface to the story.
So my story begins, that I am home alone for the weekend, parents are out of town, its just me and my cats. The crux of the story, is that I'm out of cat food. No more anxiety putting this off, I need to go today to buy food for my cats. Now to a normal person, no big deal. Just go by cat food. To the anxious, irrational part of my brain, this is basically me going into a deadly situation where I'm likely to end up in peril of some sort. So my brain goes into overdrive, with calm self sitting off to th3 side going "You're going to the pet store. Its like 6 blocks west of you, and you've been there a millions times, and you will only be in that store a total of 5 minutes."
Anxious brain: "nah bro, we're gonna get caught in there, and never be able to leave and you're gonna have a panic attack and they're gonna send you to the looney bin."
Calm Brain: *sigh*
So anyways I worked myself into a panic attack. Finally I talked myself into just going for a drive, didn't need to be to the store, just get the fuck out of the house and go for a drive, I love driving, and I could listen to my audio book. Solid plan! Drove myself around feeling myself relax. Got myself to the pet store. Sat in the parking lot for a moment feeling uneasy, but uneasy is nothing, when you're used to mass quantities of anxiety, so I get out of my car. On stepping out of my car and into the parking lot, I feel the wind hit my face and boom, panic starts rising hard and fast. Calm brain says "fuck it we're going into white knuckle mode and I'm going to do whatever I need to do to get my cats their food."
I take a deep breath, ready myself for the next 5 minutes to feel like an eternity of torture and go to close my car door. Except in my adrenaline fueled strength, I slam my door directly into my fucking shin. So there I am in this parking lot, hopping around swearing like an idiot. Anyways, the funny thing, panic attack was totally subverted, in fact after the shin bash, my anxiety was pretty much gone. I got the cat food, talked to the clerk, decided to stop in EBgames and look around for a bit, got myself some food. All feeling calm and ok.
So. Moral of the story? Whenever anxiety is about to strike, just bash the living shit out of my shin. Self harm for the win yo!
*Disclaimer: I don't actually approve of self harm as manner of dealing with mental health. If you feel the need to harm yourself seek help immediately. If self harm gives you symptoms such as, itching, dry mouth or bleeding, please consult your physician. Other side affects may result in diarrhea, spastic vomiting, or mucus spray from your eye holes. If you are allergic to self harm, stop immediately and contact your doctor. If self harm results in irrational flying pigs exploding from your rectum, go to the hospital, you may be having a bad reaction.
Sorry, got into a drug commercial mode. Serious, don't self harm, be kind to yourself..
So, as some of you know, I struggle with anxiety and depression, both get pretty bad at times. Generally my anxiety is the bigger issue of the two. Lately its gotten bad, I've been struggling just to leave the house the last month. For all the years of therapy and everything I've done and worked at to try to learn to deal with this shit, its so frustrating how easy it is to slip right back to this place.
Anyway, that's just preface to the story.
So my story begins, that I am home alone for the weekend, parents are out of town, its just me and my cats. The crux of the story, is that I'm out of cat food. No more anxiety putting this off, I need to go today to buy food for my cats. Now to a normal person, no big deal. Just go by cat food. To the anxious, irrational part of my brain, this is basically me going into a deadly situation where I'm likely to end up in peril of some sort. So my brain goes into overdrive, with calm self sitting off to th3 side going "You're going to the pet store. Its like 6 blocks west of you, and you've been there a millions times, and you will only be in that store a total of 5 minutes."
Anxious brain: "nah bro, we're gonna get caught in there, and never be able to leave and you're gonna have a panic attack and they're gonna send you to the looney bin."
Calm Brain: *sigh*
So anyways I worked myself into a panic attack. Finally I talked myself into just going for a drive, didn't need to be to the store, just get the fuck out of the house and go for a drive, I love driving, and I could listen to my audio book. Solid plan! Drove myself around feeling myself relax. Got myself to the pet store. Sat in the parking lot for a moment feeling uneasy, but uneasy is nothing, when you're used to mass quantities of anxiety, so I get out of my car. On stepping out of my car and into the parking lot, I feel the wind hit my face and boom, panic starts rising hard and fast. Calm brain says "fuck it we're going into white knuckle mode and I'm going to do whatever I need to do to get my cats their food."
I take a deep breath, ready myself for the next 5 minutes to feel like an eternity of torture and go to close my car door. Except in my adrenaline fueled strength, I slam my door directly into my fucking shin. So there I am in this parking lot, hopping around swearing like an idiot. Anyways, the funny thing, panic attack was totally subverted, in fact after the shin bash, my anxiety was pretty much gone. I got the cat food, talked to the clerk, decided to stop in EBgames and look around for a bit, got myself some food. All feeling calm and ok.
So. Moral of the story? Whenever anxiety is about to strike, just bash the living shit out of my shin. Self harm for the win yo!
*Disclaimer: I don't actually approve of self harm as manner of dealing with mental health. If you feel the need to harm yourself seek help immediately. If self harm gives you symptoms such as, itching, dry mouth or bleeding, please consult your physician. Other side affects may result in diarrhea, spastic vomiting, or mucus spray from your eye holes. If you are allergic to self harm, stop immediately and contact your doctor. If self harm results in irrational flying pigs exploding from your rectum, go to the hospital, you may be having a bad reaction.
Sorry, got into a drug commercial mode. Serious, don't self harm, be kind to yourself..
Just goes to show you that anxiety comes from your mind. Once something real happens you forget about being anxious. I used to get it too, still do sometimes. If only it was as simple as saying “hey, this is dumb. I’m only causing myself stress for no reason.” Unfortunately it’s not that easy. Good luck with your battle.
Just goes to show you that anxiety comes from your mind. Once something real happens you forget about being anxious. I used to get it too, still do sometimes. If only it was as simple as saying “hey, this is dumb. I’m only causing myself stress for no reason.” Unfortunately it’s not that easy. Good luck with your battle.
So, as some of you know, I struggle with anxiety and depression, both get pretty bad at times. Generally my anxiety is the bigger issue of the two. Lately its gotten bad, I've been struggling just to leave the house the last month. For all the years of therapy and everything I've done and worked at to try to learn to deal with this shit, its so frustrating how easy it is to slip right back to this place.
Anyway, that's just preface to the story.
So my story begins, that I am home alone for the weekend, parents are out of town, its just me and my cats. The crux of the story, is that I'm out of cat food. No more anxiety putting this off, I need to go today to buy food for my cats. Now to a normal person, no big deal. Just go by cat food. To the anxious, irrational part of my brain, this is basically me going into a deadly situation where I'm likely to end up in peril of some sort. So my brain goes into overdrive, with calm self sitting off to th3 side going "You're going to the pet store. Its like 6 blocks west of you, and you've been there a millions times, and you will only be in that store a total of 5 minutes."
Anxious brain: "nah bro, we're gonna get caught in there, and never be able to leave and you're gonna have a panic attack and they're gonna send you to the looney bin."
Calm Brain: *sigh*
So anyways I worked myself into a panic attack. Finally I talked myself into just going for a drive, didn't need to be to the store, just get the fuck out of the house and go for a drive, I love driving, and I could listen to my audio book. Solid plan! Drove myself around feeling myself relax. Got myself to the pet store. Sat in the parking lot for a moment feeling uneasy, but uneasy is nothing, when you're used to mass quantities of anxiety, so I get out of my car. On stepping out of my car and into the parking lot, I feel the wind hit my face and boom, panic starts rising hard and fast. Calm brain says "fuck it we're going into white knuckle mode and I'm going to do whatever I need to do to get my cats their food."
I take a deep breath, ready myself for the next 5 minutes to feel like an eternity of torture and go to close my car door. Except in my adrenaline fueled strength, I slam my door directly into my fucking shin. So there I am in this parking lot, hopping around swearing like an idiot. Anyways, the funny thing, panic attack was totally subverted, in fact after the shin bash, my anxiety was pretty much gone. I got the cat food, talked to the clerk, decided to stop in EBgames and look around for a bit, got myself some food. All feeling calm and ok.
So. Moral of the story? Whenever anxiety is about to strike, just bash the living shit out of my shin. Self harm for the win yo!
*Disclaimer: I don't actually approve of self harm as manner of dealing with mental health. If you feel the need to harm yourself seek help immediately. If self harm gives you symptoms such as, itching, dry mouth or bleeding, please consult your physician. Other side affects may result in diarrhea, spastic vomiting, or mucus spray from your eye holes. If you are allergic to self harm, stop immediately and contact your doctor. If self harm results in irrational flying pigs exploding from your rectum, go to the hospital, you may be having a bad reaction.
Sorry, got into a drug commercial mode. Serious, don't self harm, be kind to yourself..
I also agree that you should not harm yourself. But now I know that if you're ever feeling anxious when I'm around, imma crack you one in the shin. If that doesn't work, I move north. And your favourite niece should be able to help too, since 80% of the time her super hugs result in a headbutt to the 🍒
So, as some of you know, I struggle with anxiety and depression, both get pretty bad at times. Generally my anxiety is the bigger issue of the two. Lately its gotten bad, I've been struggling just to leave the house the last month. For all the years of therapy and everything I've done and worked at to try to learn to deal with this shit, its so frustrating how easy it is to slip right back to this place.
Anyway, that's just preface to the story.
So my story begins, that I am home alone for the weekend, parents are out of town, its just me and my cats. The crux of the story, is that I'm out of cat food. No more anxiety putting this off, I need to go today to buy food for my cats. Now to a normal person, no big deal. Just go by cat food. To the anxious, irrational part of my brain, this is basically me going into a deadly situation where I'm likely to end up in peril of some sort. So my brain goes into overdrive, with calm self sitting off to th3 side going "You're going to the pet store. Its like 6 blocks west of you, and you've been there a millions times, and you will only be in that store a total of 5 minutes."
Anxious brain: "nah bro, we're gonna get caught in there, and never be able to leave and you're gonna have a panic attack and they're gonna send you to the looney bin."
Calm Brain: *sigh*
So anyways I worked myself into a panic attack. Finally I talked myself into just going for a drive, didn't need to be to the store, just get the fuck out of the house and go for a drive, I love driving, and I could listen to my audio book. Solid plan! Drove myself around feeling myself relax. Got myself to the pet store. Sat in the parking lot for a moment feeling uneasy, but uneasy is nothing, when you're used to mass quantities of anxiety, so I get out of my car. On stepping out of my car and into the parking lot, I feel the wind hit my face and boom, panic starts rising hard and fast. Calm brain says "fuck it we're going into white knuckle mode and I'm going to do whatever I need to do to get my cats their food."
I take a deep breath, ready myself for the next 5 minutes to feel like an eternity of torture and go to close my car door. Except in my adrenaline fueled strength, I slam my door directly into my fucking shin. So there I am in this parking lot, hopping around swearing like an idiot. Anyways, the funny thing, panic attack was totally subverted, in fact after the shin bash, my anxiety was pretty much gone. I got the cat food, talked to the clerk, decided to stop in EBgames and look around for a bit, got myself some food. All feeling calm and ok.
So. Moral of the story? Whenever anxiety is about to strike, just bash the living shit out of my shin. Self harm for the win yo!
*Disclaimer: I don't actually approve of self harm as manner of dealing with mental health. If you feel the need to harm yourself seek help immediately. If self harm gives you symptoms such as, itching, dry mouth or bleeding, please consult your physician. Other side affects may result in diarrhea, spastic vomiting, or mucus spray from your eye holes. If you are allergic to self harm, stop immediately and contact your doctor. If self harm results in irrational flying pigs exploding from your rectum, go to the hospital, you may be having a bad reaction.
Sorry, got into a drug commercial mode. Serious, don't self harm, be kind to yourself..
I also agree that you should not harm yourself. But now I know that if you're ever feeling anxious when I'm around, imma crack you one in the shin. If that doesn't work, I move north. And your favourite niece should be able to help too, since 80% of the time her super hugs result in a headbutt to the 🍒
Love you too brother. Thanks for sharing.
Fair, though I don't know if nut shots will help or make it worse. The queasy feeling after a nut shot might be too close to the anxiety symptoms and just send me deeper.
Eye understand, but just chill dude. But yeah Eye understand. I'm "there" late at night. Like what will Eye do and where will Eye go, but Eye sleep it off and get on with the getting on. I've seen you post about this before and Eye have a question. Do you have a therapist or are you willing to walk through life like this forever?
Eye don't want to come off like a dick, because I'm not a dick. All I'm really saying is that I've sort of been there and Eye didn't seek help. Self help did it. But maybe you need help? You can get it here, but if professional help could kick your ass into gear? Shin for the win is good for now and you have the catfood. Is it that funny, this story?
Eye understand, but just chill dude. But yeah Eye understand. I'm "there" late at night. Like what will Eye do and where will Eye go, but Eye sleep it off and get on with the getting on. I've seen you post about this before and Eye have a question. Do you have a therapist or are you willing to walk through life like this forever?
Eye don't want to come off like a dick, because I'm not a dick. All I'm really saying is that I've sort of been there and Eye didn't seek help. Self help did it. But maybe you need help? You can get it here, but if professional help could kick your ass into gear? Shin for the win is good for now and you have the catfood. Is it that funny, this story?
It is that hard to just chill lol. If I could chill I would.
As for proffesional help, been down that road many times, I've been to a number of therapists, counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and doctors I've been on meds and off em, I've tried natural remedies, and all sorts of stuff. Nothing has really worked, at least nothing has worked for long. I've had some ups, and a lot of downs. This is something I've spent my life dealing with to varying degrees, and I've tried and failed to this point to best it. Good likelyhood I go down that road again.
Believe me when I say its not the way I wish to go through life, and know that I've tried and continue to try to figure this shit out. There is a reason funny is in quotation marks. I have to find humour in it, I have to laugh that the only thing that calmed me down, was accidentally smashing my shin, because if I don't find humour in it, its just gonna make me really fuckin sad. Its funny not funny.
I feel for you Jin. I know my wife goes through panic/anxiety attacks every so often sometimes if I can get her calmed down early enough she does okay but most times she's already past the point of no return which often results with her going to the ER. Hope you find something other than hitting your shin to help you.
Nothing belongs to us even the air we inhale must be exhaled.
I also agree that you should not harm yourself. But now I know that if you're ever feeling anxious when I'm around, imma crack you one in the shin. If that doesn't work, I move north. And your favourite niece should be able to help too, since 80% of the time her super hugs result in a headbutt to the 🍒
Love you too brother. Thanks for sharing.
Fair, though I don't know if nut shots will help or make it worse. The queasy feeling after a nut shot might be too close to the anxiety symptoms and just send me deeper.
Eye understand, but just chill dude. But yeah Eye understand. I'm "there" late at night. Like what will Eye do and where will Eye go, but Eye sleep it off and get on with the getting on. I've seen you post about this before and Eye have a question. Do you have a therapist or are you willing to walk through life like this forever?
Eye don't want to come off like a dick, because I'm not a dick. All I'm really saying is that I've sort of been there and Eye didn't seek help. Self help did it. But maybe you need help? You can get it here, but if professional help could kick your ass into gear? Shin for the win is good for now and you have the catfood. Is it that funny, this story?
Dude. “Just chill” to a person with anxiety is like “just don’t be sick” to a cancer patient. Trust, if it was just a matter of “just chill”, we would.
Eye understand, but just chill dude. But yeah Eye understand. I'm "there" late at night. Like what will Eye do and where will Eye go, but Eye sleep it off and get on with the getting on. I've seen you post about this before and Eye have a question. Do you have a therapist or are you willing to walk through life like this forever?
Eye don't want to come off like a dick, because I'm not a dick. All I'm really saying is that I've sort of been there and Eye didn't seek help. Self help did it. But maybe you need help? You can get it here, but if professional help could kick your ass into gear? Shin for the win is good for now and you have the catfood. Is it that funny, this story?
Dude. “Just chill” to a person with anxiety is like “just don’t be sick” to a cancer patient. Trust, if it was just a matter of “just chill”, we would.
This x 1,000!
No one totally "understands". Everyone's triggers, symptoms and reactions are not exactly the same...dread, unease, tremors, chest and/or stomach pain, dizziness, flat out terror and others I've surely missed are not something that always dissipates by just "chilling".
I wouldn't wish my infliction on anyone even just to get them to "understand".
Dude. “Just chill” to a person with anxiety is like “just don’t be sick” to a cancer patient. Trust, if it was just a matter of “just chill”, we would.
This x 1,000!
No one totally "understands". Everyone's triggers, symptoms and reactions are not exactly the same...dread, unease, tremors, chest and/or stomach pain, dizziness, flat out terror and others I've surely missed are not something that always dissipates by just "chilling".
I wouldn't wish my infliction on anyone even just to get them to "understand".
When the Tragedy struck me, I used to complain a lot about how unfair it was. One day I realized, it’s not fair or unfair...it’s just something you get. It wouldn’t be more fair if it happened to someone else.
The “just chill” mentality is dangerous on more than one level. It’s dismissive and belittling. It causes shame because you know in your mind that you should “just chill” but are powerless. It makes people too ashamed to talk about it. My SIL got very physically ill. They tested her for everything. Finally, when told she was bipolar, she stopped denying it and got help. She has hope now, but was afraid to get help because of the stigma. She’s got what looks like the perfect life from the outside. That’s when the “just chill” comments hurt the most.
Eye understand, but just chill dude. But yeah Eye understand. I'm "there" late at night. Like what will Eye do and where will Eye go, but Eye sleep it off and get on with the getting on. I've seen you post about this before and Eye have a question. Do you have a therapist or are you willing to walk through life like this forever?
Eye don't want to come off like a dick, because I'm not a dick. All I'm really saying is that I've sort of been there and Eye didn't seek help. Self help did it. But maybe you need help? You can get it here, but if professional help could kick your ass into gear? Shin for the win is good for now and you have the catfood. Is it that funny, this story?
Dude. “Just chill” to a person with anxiety is like “just don’t be sick” to a cancer patient. Trust, if it was just a matter of “just chill”, we would.
Trusting. Eye think the self-awareness of it all involves a certain amount of chilling. I've been there, just not to that extreme. And yes on just don't be sick. Your mind CAN conquer a lot, imo. But opinion and mental health are fairly conflicting. So you're fine most of the time but on certain days it comes down like a ton of bricks? Eye think you and Jin are gonna make it due to self-awareness. It's an issue, for sure. But you have to get out there and find the way to get out there. Maybe meds but I'd try to avoid that. Also, the root of the anxiety is key but I'm not saying anything you don't already know right?
